Thursday, March 19, 2015

R+J = Love. Not!

   Special blog post from The Kid sharing her thoughts on Romeo and Juliet.
If I were Juliet, this play would’ve been a lot shorter. Juliet was unimpressed with Romeo's antics, the end.
             There are several things wrong with this story, here are three of them: they got married within less than 24 hours of knowing each other, they were too young, and they were the royalty of overreaction.
              My first complaint is they got married within 24 hours of meeting. Then, to make matters worse, they got married in secret because their families, Juliet belonging to the Capulet house and Romeo to Montague, were mortal enemies. In modern times, we would just call that a bad weekend in Vegas. But alas, their stupidity doesn’t end there.
              Juliet was 13. I’m 12 and I don’t even like the same book I liked last week let alone be capable of forming a lasting familial bond with another human. Teenagers are fickle creatures. Their brains are not ready for that kind of decision-making. We go to our other interesting character, Romeo, who was ready to kill himself over Rosalind. Romeo, Romeo, why art thou so emo? He was capricious enough to never love again after Rosaline, yet she was forgotten entirely after seeing Juliet.
              How does one deal with their love being banished from their home city? Overreaction. Okay, technically Juliet was pretending to be dead to avoid being married to Paris, but that in of itself wasn’t the best way to handle that situation either. But then, Romeo ups the ante by convincing the apothecary to sell him illegal poison. To kill himself. Why? Because it totally makes sense to sneak into the cemetery and drink the Flavor Aid atop your beloved’s corpse. Then Juliet awakens to find dying Romeo, being the rational teenager that she is, drives a dagger through her heart. Well done you two, you’ve solved the family feud but you won’t be around to benefit from it. All in the name of love. 3 whole days of love. I don’t know about you, but I think this story gives Twilight a run for its money for being the worst love story ever. 

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